Well there's a story about modman I heard.
He always wanted to drive a big yellow school bus full of smiling children. Eventually, one day, he was hired to do just that! Wow was he excited!
So his first day on the job he shows up at the bus garage to get his bus. The mechanic comes out to greet him.
"Well, modman, unfortunately the bus we WERE going to give you is down for repairs at the moment. Here are the keys to the backup bus."
So modman goes out to the garage and the mechanic points out the bus to him. It's not yellow, it's a got Sesame Street characters painted all over it instead. Slightly disappointed, modman thinks to himself "Well, it IS a school bus anyway." The mechanic gives modman his list of pickups and wishes him luck.
Modman pulls out of the garage at looks at his list. The first kids are both Patty. Not too unusual, but odd that they're at the same street, so he heads that way to pick them up.
When he pulls up to the street there are two HUGE girls standing there waiting for him. He just stares in shock as they squeeze their way onto the bus and find a seat. Shaking his head a glances at his list and starts out to the next street. The next name on his list is Ross.
Pulling up to the street where Ross is standing he opens the door and says "HI!"
"H - He - Hell - Hello M - Mr. Bbbus driver sir." Ross stammers as he climbs into the bus. He shuffles over to a seat and sits down, drooling on himself.
A little more disturbed, modman looks at his next name - Lester - and starts off to the address to pick him up. When he gets there he is relieved to see that Lester seems to be a bit more normal.
"Good morning, Lester" modman says as the boy gets on the bus.
"Sup dude" Lester says as he finds a seat.
Lester was his last pickup so modman turns the bus around and heads to the school to drop them off - but in the mirror he notices Lester taking his shoes off and picking at his feet!
"What are you doing?" modman asks incredulously.
"Oh, I've just got some bunions that hurt a lot. I like to pick at them before school because the teachers won't let me."
Well modman is really disturbed now, but he's at the school so the kids get off and he parks the bus. Just when he finishes his phone rings - it's his best friend.
"Hey man, have a good first morning on the job?" his friend says.
"Well, not really."
"What's the matter? I thought you always wanted to drive a school bus?"
"Well, yea - I always wanted to drive a big yellow bus full of happy smiling kids." modman admits.
"So what's the problem?"
Modman replied frustratedly, "Well instead of that, today I got
two obese Patties, special Ross, and Lester picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus."
(queue laughter or confused looks)
If you're the latter, try saying the last line fast, or googling up "Big Mac Jingle"
