Yiiii!
Trust me, that's way too much poly, no matter how good your model looks. I think you are suffering from a case of YTTWYSIWYGBWYHTMPYGMBOBFSMTASTBOHPMHHSABEDS (
You-Think-That-What-You-See-Is-What-You-Get-But-When-You-Have-Too-Much-Poly-You-Get-Massive-Battles-Of-Bullets-Flying-Slow-Motion-That-Aren't-Supposed-To-Be-Because-Of-High-Poly-Modelers-Heavy-Handed-Subsurfing-And-Blender-Eyesight-Defaults-Syndrome) (god, I need a better name for that, try memorizing that, doctors!).
It is a critical, difficult to cure, bacterial caused syndrome that is spread to gamers through evil modeling methods. While little is known about this syndrome, it can cause dizziness, over-confidence, headaches, loss of personal life, lack of appeal to opposite sex, heartbreak, computer crashes, lag, BSOD, carpal tunnel syndrome, gamers cancer, loss of motor control of lower body, partial paralyzing, and in rare cases, death.
It has been linked to causing high blood pressure, diabetes, high sodium levels, gamers cancer, meth addiction, tobacco addiction, cocaine addiction, every-other-drug addiction, poverty, and increased idiot-to-genius ratio.
Symptoms include odd blotches in places you don't want others to see (except at the company corporate party), limbs suddenly going limp and falling off, pimples, black heads, white heads, red heads, pink heads, purple-poka-dotted-and-pink heads, loss of appetite, increase of appettite, compulsive urge to run down streets naked, and incontrollable curses at your grandmother.
It is caused by improper hand eye coordinates before the modeler realizes that glest actually smooths the model, so you don't have to. Before such realization, they are often stricken with creating million+ poly models that look as smooth as day in blender, and smooth as hell in glest. The recklessness combined with the drug addiction causes them to mistake the 000s for decimal places, which lead to a competion of who can get the most 'decimal places' before their computer gives them a BSOD and a kick in the ass. It results in large scale battles turning into blitzing, slow motion, play-by-play, 20 second bullets with models jumping out of their hides (if they have any. If not, it just comes out of the screen and starts pounding the players head upon the keyboard until it explodes in a rumble of green goo, then it's only a matter of time before the world starts adapting lag properties, and commuters will find themself frustrated with trains that stop every twenty seconds to resync (so far, the last one's been going on for 3 days, 21 hours, 1 minute, and 3 seconds as of right now (which is still 2009, BTW).
Cures are very rare, and usually involve a kick in the ass followed by some sort of torture tool (thumbscrews have proven affective). Stretching racks are rarely used except to hold the kicking and screaming druggie in place for their daily waterboarding. The rare non-painful treatment usually involves a miracle from god, and a warning from the devil. More common 'accidental' treatments include computer viruses blowing up houses, plunging of unicorn horns through the heart (if they wish to turn away from the dark side, it is harmless, otherwise, oh well), bricks being tossed at high speed by angry neighbors, and parents kicking your ass.
Speculation from the church has lead to this illness being considered 'evil', and exorcisms have been used. Unfortunately, due to the extreme contagiousness of the illness, it is usually too late. Once the head has dismembered himself and turned into a crab people, it is usually too late.
If afflicted people wander around acting like the undead from 'night of the living dead', then it is recommended by the WHO to keep back ten feet, due to the fact that usually means they have a hunger for brains. If this is the case, the best known solution is a fully loaded shotgun. Be sure to blast entire body to ensure that no hands will turn into crab people.
If you loved one has been inflicted, please call 1-800-CRABPPL. Recommended treatment is a full gauge shotgun to the chest. Please note that such treatments have a chance of being irrivocable. If you think you have been afflicted with YTTWYSIWYGBWYHTMPYGMBOBFSMTASTBOHPMHHSABEDS, then please see your family physicist, and be sure to turn him into a crab person while you are there.
I kept an entire straight face
when I published it into the medical magazine.
*On a serious point, the infantry of military has 588 vertices, 612 faces, and only 40.9KiB.
